the lukewarm blog: May 2010

Blackhawks-Flyers - for the gnaaargh-yecccch-pukey cup!
Who the hell wanted THAT! Of all the dreamed final match-ups, NONE had the broad street bullies being a part of the dance - and few had the pukefaces from the Windy City there either! What it comes down to is, basically, Chicago punks versus Philly thugs! And anyone who disagrees with that assessment is either a fan of either team involved - or a nitwit! (Granted it could be BOTH - but that is another story!) I mean - anyone seen the way Pronger plays - is that a gentleman on ice or a barbarian on skates...! And from the other club - Toews - wasn't he the nice kid who beat up his cabbie some hot summer day last year, venting his frustration that his club flunked out in the playoffs (he's just a wet-behind-the-ears punk with a bunch of others young punks and they think that they are ''entitled'' to more, that they were destined for more, right away - they have ASPIRATIONS...! And if anything impedes that - take it out on poor unsuspecting cabbie who actually WORKS for a living...! PUNKS - and thugs! Case closed!

Now that is NOT what the NHL wants representing them in the grand finale - no sir! But that is, most probably, what the NHL DESERVES to have representing the overall organization in their marquee event, the final showcase of theatrics on ice that they are...

Of all the dream clashes that could have been (Boston-San Jose - at last... Or Boston-Detroit, a match-up of Original Six teams that actually have retained some class, unlike the Hawks or the Habs! The Hub of Hockey versus Hockeytown - what a great finale THAT would have been! And we would have also been better served by Pittsburgh attempting a repeat versus whomever, New Jersey going all the way only to lose (probably four straight) and even by Washington versus San Jose - if regular season standings counted for anything at all - and they do not, any longer, they absolutely do not! But who cares at this point, eh?)

So, instead of any of those great match-ups, we have THIS: Philadelphia and Chicago - a mismatch in terms of power but a totally normal pairing in terms of misbegotten line-ups and rowdy towns!

My prediction: Chicago in four straight.

But, again, who cares!
Aside from ''Chicagoans'' that is...!

Logically, Boston should have eliminated Philly in games 6 or 7, so they shouldn't even be there in the Finals, opposite the damn Hawks! (The B's proved that they could handle the pressure and DISAPPOINTMENT of having to play a game seven when, logically, they shouldn't have needed to, over and over again - in 2009, they had to play seven versus Carolina when they could have easily ousted the Hurricanes in 5 or 6 games. Instead, they were robbed in the seventh game, in overtime. This year, they dominate their game seven only to hit three posts and see an insurmountable potential six-goal lead being chipped away little-by-little; because, let's face it, a three-goal lead in today's parity-laden NHL is NOTHING - nothing at all. Any team can come back from a two or three goal deficit: if given the time. And the Flyers sure were given that - primarily by the three posts Cruel Lady Fate denied turning into goals for Boston! While the Bruins' sin was, perhaps, to score three goals too early in the game, ironically - as always, it tends to be cruel to the Bruins any which way you look at it: with irony or through fate's eye! But wait 'til next year - with Tyler Seguin (most likely) or Taylor Hall joining their team, and a few tweaks here and there, the Boston Bruins will become UNBEATABLE. But that is, again, another story - for another time; next year, to be precise!) And so, after having dispatched the Flyers in 6 as they should have, the Bruins should have shown the Pens and Caps who's really boss. For, once again, LOGICALLY - the idiots in Washington and\or the blasé underachievers in Pittsburgh should have steam-rolled all over the Canadiens - and not have taken them too lightly as they so obviously did! Upsets all around, really - any wonder why I no longer watch nor care about any of it, really?

In the west, San Jose finally achieved SOMETHING - but still stayed true to their rep, ultimately - and spectacularly so too; man, being SWEPT by the Hawks... yikes! It's something akin to the history of the mafia indeed: the Mob, with their best hitmen on tap (what else to call Heatley, Marleau and Thornton - Joe, not the Man, Shawn! JOE.) being pulverized by a bunch of street thugs from some small street gang around the corner..!!! Pathetic. And they (the Sharks) had just beaten their most bitter rival, Detroit - FINALLY, after so many tries...! Truly pathetic! The NBA's Cleveland Cavaliers took action after they saw their dominant team (in the regular season) being dominated and shown the exit door by the resurgent Boston Celtics in this year's playoffs - they fired the coach! Maybe San Jose needs to change the entire coaching staff - and the GM too! Otherwise the danger is very real that their ''great player'' Thornton (Joe) will forever remain stuck with the unsightly labels of ''choker'' and ''loser'' - and this is doubly frustrating when one sees a ruffian like Pronger (who helped Anaheim royally frustrate San Jose just a short time ago...!) being affixed with the rep of a ''winner'' - when all he does is be a thug on ice! An opportunist thug, granted - but a thug and nothing much more than that nonetheless!

I wished to see Phoenix go far this year, for some obscure reason (blame it or pin it on Wile E) - and they, of course, never did, so it would have been refreshingly new had they obliged. Heck - Nashville (did they even qualify for the playoffs - lol) and Columbus - anyone of those EXCEPT the damn same towns year in and year out, please!!! Seeing Vancouver compete, though, was almost as -yawn- exciting as seeing Calgary and Edmonton get into a deep run into the playoffs - which reminds me to say again, as I subconsciously do every year; thank God Winnipeg doesn't have a team anymore! But that is another story! (How long can it remain that way, too: nobody knows!)

At least the aberration that was the lone remaining Canadian team in the hunt did not reach such absurdism as seeing them reach the finals... sheesh! The Habs were not taken seriously enough by anyone who played them -and with such good reason- and that allowed them to reach the third round... the THIRD ROUND... sheesh! ONE team should have put an end to that nonsense - and that was arch-rival Boston. People in Montreal were clamoring that this was the best playoff run since 1993 - the year that they last STOLE THE CUP. They were reminded then, ever so slightly, what happened in 1994, when they defended their theft in a series against... BOSTON. This reminder was simply due to the dubious achievement of having managed only a single shot on goal during an entire period - something they did two times before, in a series against Buffalo (they lost the game 3-0 - just as they lost two games to Philly by the exact same score! Great to see irony being cruel to the Habs as well - sometimes.) and in a game against the Bruins in the 1994 series... But, guess what, the "defending champs" Habs actually stole that game too, even though they managed only one shot on goal in one of the three periods, at the end of it they had stolen the game by the score of 5-2...!!! What depraved DUMB LUCK is that. Or puck luck. Or yuck puck luck! Still - justice was served that year - the Boston Bruins defeated the Montreal Canadiens in the 1994 playoffs, making it clear that the 1993 cup was stolen and rightfully belonged to the best team in 1993... which was the Boston Bruins!

This year, it came so close that the Bruins would have had the same opportunity to inject some more common sense and a dose of REALITY back into the craniums of the Canadiens fans...! They would have welcomed the opportunity to do so - only Pronger's Phills wanted it for themselves and had, seemingly, that bitchy lady luck on their side...! Again, wait 'til next year...

Let us remain on THIS YEAR a while longer: for the aberration on ice (of seeing the Habs skate past both Capitals AND Penguins) was having such crazed fans making nonsensical statements as "it's the year of the underdog; the west has the top two teams remaining, but the east has the bottom three still competing" (at the time, the Bruins-Flyers series endured and the damn Habs had shocked and stunned the Pitt into elimination just the night before.)
Sheesh! The fact that the bottom teams beat the top teams in the east does NOT guarantee that one of them -the one that eventually does reach the finals- will topple one of the top two from the west...! I swear, sometimes, partisan fever must be affecting the thought process... I am sure of it! It affects journalistic ethics and so-called "ethical" pros as well - we will see that shortly... Once again, that is, because I remember mentioning it before, on another post...

In the end, of course, the Habs were defeated in five games by the team that Boston had beaten in every way and facet of the game - and should have eliminated too! But lady fate (another bitch, as we saw before) had to make it so that they got Carter and Giroux back while we (yes, we! I'm with the Hub of Hockey - or had you forgotten that? I can multitask - think and simultaneously support the worthier, hard luck and hardest-working team: Boston!) we lost Sturm and then Krejci as well...!

But still - when confronting these same lucky Flyers, the Habs lost in FIVE.

Where have I heard that before... "en cinq petites parties"... eh? AH YES - in a Montreal rag of a mag, the one that was trying to be all prognostical about the then forthcoming 2009-2010 season - while being all off the mark about the recent past! For, incredibly, they went to print with a false piece of data concerning the epic 2009 playoff confrontation between the Boston Bruins and Carolina Hurricanes (a team with, at the time, still several cup winners on its roster.) This was a series that went SEVEN GAMES, plus an overtime period in the seventh (and there were some more extra periods there, during the course of the series - the Bruins, basically, making the same mistake that the Capitals and Penguins made with the Canadiens THIS YEAR: they were not taking their opponent seriously and were, truly, thinking ahead to the NEXT ROUND already... This series came as a surprisingly CLOSE and HARD'FOUGHT battle that went on and on and would be decided by pure damn LUCK - again.) However, the rag of a mag from Montreal, in its recollection of the recent series, stated that it had lasted only 5 rather than 7 games - for, obviously, the editorial team behind that rag was still reeling badly from THE SWEEP! As it was indeed, to begin the 2009 playoffs, the Boston Bruins had totally outclassed the Montreal Canadiens and had swept them in four straight - or should I say "en quatre petites parties" now...! And so, now, it is sooooooo ironic that the Canadiens, after seemingly accomplishing so much in "triumphing" over two giants, the juggernauts that were the over-rated Capitals and full-of-themselves Penguins, would lose en cinq petites parties - TO THE TEAM THAT BOSTON HAD IN THE ROPES, to boot! That pretty much renders null and void all the so-called triumphs, does it not? I am sure that the fanatiques will say otherwise...

They are probably still wearing their jerseys, even now; and will continue to do so throughout the summer...!

Go Habs Go - go home, yo!
Go to the mini-golf near you!
Bastards!

Good riddance!